Monday, January 6, 2014
Changing of The GuardNEWER POSTS OLDER POSTS
Sometimes I go over blog posts in my head and wonder how self-important I sound. I assume what I'm thinking about right now will come out as very narcissistic and passive aggressive.
Do you ever go through cycles where it feels like a group of people in your life are all leaving at the same time?
I'm old enough where this is has happened several times and parts of it hurt and parts of it, honestly, can be a relief. This time, mostly it hurts because it just feels like losing touch (for whatever reason) rather than a healthy changing of the guard.
Perhaps it's partly a change in the way the world works as well. Where text is becoming like email in that sometimes you just don't get replies anymore. Or people you know in real life, people who have been to your house, will unfollow you on Twitter with no explanation why.
This post is a jumble of thoughts that probably came out of the holiday blues, because even though we had a nice holiday - everyone gets the holiday blues. Especially when you have a sleep disorder that affects you the worst in winter. Not to mention the early menopause that is making me heated in ways that have nothing to do with my internal temperature.
Still, sometimes it feels like some of my friendships, while we're still holding hands, it's very superficial fingertips to fingertips, a lightly touching embrace - rather than the big bear hug I'm used to.
Maybe this is part of being friends among social networks. Maybe this is what they mean when they say you can only maintain 100 friends at a time. Maybe there is a point of collapse at some point, back to that smaller group that can actually be maintained.
It still makes me sad.